I'm hardcore....

I could consider myself a professional shopper. Find me another mom of triplets who sets foot out on Black Friday and again today with little caffeine.

Black Friday:
The mall was so crowded that I couldn't even park AT THE MALL. Nope, parked by Kinkos and had to hoof it all the way to the door. Walk to get the mail- no way. Walk 4 miles to a Gymboree sale- hell yes- barefoot and on glass if needed.

Today:
Today might not have been that much of a feat except for the fact we went to the outlets in Primm.....

....With every other person driving back to California on I15. What should have taken 30 minutes took 2 hours and 15 minutes. Let me also add I was stuck next to a pig truck for 3 miles. A pig truck full of pigs who I swear smelled like they just rolled in cow manure. They also kept shoving their pig snouts through the little holes. I probably have pig snot on the side of the car.

So give me my badge of honor, my sceptor and crown. For I dear friends should be committed.

Start snappin' the fingers....

It's creepy and it's kooky

Mysterious and spooky

It's jiggly and it's wiggly

The Williams Cranberry Sauce!

I can remember growing up, my Mother would shake this cranberry glob with all her might out of the can. Then she would carefully slice it, and arrange it artfully on the plate. No one ever ate it, but it was always there, a jellified processed masterpiece.

Thanks Mom for one of my most favorite holiday memories. Happy Thanksgiving :)

Wrong...so wrong....

I'm speechless.

Absolutely beyond words.

Wow.

It's November 13th

AND THERE IS FREAKIN" CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE RADIO!

Ok, in defense of the broadcasting world, it is only being played by one station, during one individual's sappy air time, where she finds perfect songs to cure broken hearts, show someone how much you love them by blasting Air Supply, or any other sugary sweet ballad that makes you want to jerk the steering wheel and head right off the embankment.

But there is no reason I should have to roast chestnuts on an open fire or have a holly jolly Christmas when I haven't even been exposed to turkey filled gluttony and mashed potato mountains.

Santa hasn't even geared up for the parade yet.

Geesh...

Woo Hoo!

NO PALIN!!!

Yippee!!!

Picture Day...

Yes- I pimp my kids for candy...

Today was the LVMOMs Halloween party. It started off at Peter Piper Pizza. In a moment of clarity, as I sat staring at the pizza, with 3 hungry sets of eyes staring at me, did I realize the the munchkins have never had pizza. Therefore, pizza consumption was administered by fork.

And even though I took great care in delivering food to mouth, HOW IN THE HELL did Ryan get pizza on his costume?

That's ok- because I am the crazy mom that whips out the Tide stain stick right...there...on...the...spot. Yep- that's me.

We then went to the Clark County Museum of Old Stuff (I don't really think that is the name, but it is a damn accurate description). They were holding a Halloweenie Trick and Treat fest, so we got to push Mickey, Minnie and Donald around and have more than a few Einsteins ask the typical questions. No, they are not identical, yes-3 does equal triplets, and no, I am not having anymore.

But the perk? Triplets = lotsa candy!

Yep- 3 heaping baggies full of chocolate, gummy stuff, and Jelly Bellys. Not the cheapo sweet tarts or candy that tastes like chalk. We are talking Hersheys baby!

And since I am very concerned about cavities, sugar overindulgence and possible choking hazards, Drew and I made every attempt to make sure that the candy was well out of reach of the trio.

Now if you excuse me, I must wipe the chocolate off my keyboard.

Whoa! Where did September go?

I swear I lost an entire month! At this rate the kids will be driving next week. Hmm, lets see... what the heck did I do over the last few weeks?


1. Survived first family vacation without any bumps, bruises or scratches.
2. Replaced 2 bumpers from the small teeny tiny fender bender in the driveway (oops).
3. Celebrated our 10 year anniversary.



Yep 10 years. 10 years of opportunities for Drew to finally realize I am not the domestic goddess that I packaged myself to be. But that's ok- he likes Hamburger Helper and likes to do his own laundry- so I am off the hook.



Very Patient Husband whisked me away to Sedona for an anniversary getaway. Spa treatments, shopping- he's the man with the plan.



Until the hiking.



There is a very valid reason I am a Girl Scout dropout. I don't hike. I don't even like to get the mail. However, the promise of a energy realigning vortex seemed to exciting to pass up. Besides, VPH said it was only 2/10ths of a mile. How bad could it be?

Bad. Very Bad



First- it was not 2/10ths of a mile.
Second- it was not flat
Third- I had no water
Fourth- I swear I heard a buzzard circling above my head



As for the vortex? As soon as my dehydrated, no longer relaxed from the spa worn and torn body got to the top of the HUGE mountain- I wouldn't have felt any realigning if it came and kicked me in the ass and slapped me all the way back to the bottom. And I am pretty sure I threw off some negative energy by asking Zen Yoga Master which way was the easiest to get back down.

How I Spent My Summer Vacation...

Day 1: Fool yourself into thinking that you will actually get on the road in time. We were actually almost on schedule. Drew painstakingly packed the car in such a way that I swore he must have played too much drinking Jenga in college. It was a perfect puzzle masterpiece. Get in the car, forget the confirmation number, turn back around and then finally get on the road an hour later then planned.

Tip #1: Do not drive anywhere remotely towards California on Labor Day. If so, plan on adding 4 hours to your trip.

Apparently, the ENTIRE state of California decided to have a mass exodus towards Sin City for the Labor Day weekend. Then, they all decided to go back with us- the overstuffed Pathfinder with triplets singing in the backseat.

Tip#2: The reason for the back up- the damn fruit stand checkpoint at the CA/NV line. Because taking fruit into CA is a BIG deal. Why? Don't know and I don't care. Just make sure to have some oranges available to bean at the checker's head for tying up traffic the next time.

Back on the road, we finally decide it would be a good idea to feed the munchkins. So we hunt down a KFC for mac & cheese.

Tip#3: California has a great sense of humor, especially the pranks about putting the signs for fast food AFTER the exit you should have taken 1/4 mile back.

Gee Arnold- thanks a bunch.

to be continued...

And how was your weekend?

Take a moment and create a story in your head containing the following plot lines:

1 black eye
2 smashed cars
1 blown hot water heater

yep - I see your minds spinning now...

Da plane boss! Da plane!

We took the trio to the observation area at McCarran last night for the heck of it. Ryan loved it, screaming and signing for more "panes". Aspen could have cared less, and Dominic was more interested in dumping an entire soda on me in the car.

Fun for all!

Time out!

DracuDominic got time out tonight. See, Dominic is a sensitive soul, a gentle child, a kind, loving little boy.

Unless your name is Ryan and you just stole the basketball.

Revenge- triplet style. One nasty chomp down on the back, through cotton, hard enough to leave a welt with teeth marks.

He better hope that Ryan never bites back since Ryan has the dental makings of a shark. Or as our pediatrician says, a tooth explosion in his mouth. Ryan, somehow, acquired too many teeth. Probably a well planned ploy to get extra money from the tooth fairy. But seriously, he has, from last count, 3 teeth too many. I have no idea what happened in there.

I better start saving for the braces.

Happy Birthday Drew!

What does any parent of triplets do on their birthday? Run. Hide. Seek adult environments.

After all, the trio got to go to a birthday party on Saturday for Tanner (mucho fun Dena!) and even though Ryan ran around making sure escaped ball pit balls were returned to their rightful place, they had a blast.

Today, for Drew's birthday- we ran away. Got pedicures and massages. And ate in a restaurant without having to look on the children's menu and did not have to cut food up into teeny tiny pieces. And it was still HOT when we ate it.

Good times that every birthday boy deserves.

On another note, I made the reservations for San Diego (check me out all on the ball!). I was even polite when after explaining to the agent that it was 2 adults and 3 children all the same age, born on the same day, all related, yada yada, he STILL proceeded to ask me if I was bring 2 pack and plays.

Yep, because one has to rotate and sleep in the truck.

The end.

fairy princess

I just realized I have not posted any pics from the 2 year birthday shoots. I could say it was because I have been in bed for 2 days with either a] food poisoning (because I want to blame Drew for trying to KILL me) or b] some nasty stomach virus (more realistic probable cause).

But considering they were done a month ago- chalk it up to laziness. These are one's we had taken of Aspen and Drew got into an argument with the manager over a coupon code (which, for those that know Drew- that is so not like him) and it made the whole experience even more memorable. Especially the part when Aspen started crying and Drew looked the guy straight in his eyes and says" See- now you made her cry" You really had to be there. It was a special family moment. Especially 6'4" Drew staring down 5' nothing photo dude.

Not quite Barry the Bee...

Perhaps the Bee Movie has taught the trio no fear of bugs.


I, on the other hand, still harbor huge anxiety attack inducing fears of bugs, especially bees.

We decided to put the kids in the pool so that they could float and watch Drew light fireworks and hopefully not catch palm trees on fire.



Dominic is sitting on the sun deck and grabs for what appears to be a lightening bug. Or some kind of bug- they are all creepy and crawly anyway- does it really matter?

Then creepy bug morphs into what appears to be a hornet.



What do I do? Scream like a mental patient and all but cannonball out of the pool and down the street. Dominic is trying to catch it, and gets stung.



Twice.



But he took it much better then I did, and with a little bit of Benedryl and some kisses on his boo boo, took his wound like a champ.

Feeling helpful???

We all have busy lives, and sometimes even though we have the best intentions, it can be hard to find some time to do some good for someone else.

Here is your chance.

Lick an envelope, and stick a few stamps, and help someone achieve a dream.

Key Chains 4 Jerry.

A member at one of the forums I frequent is trying to gather up the masses (or keychains in this instance). Here is some info from the blog that was set up to keep track of Jerry's progress:

"Jerry Moran is an awesome mentally-challenged guy from Champaign, IL. Many years ago, he started a key chain collection. At the current time, he has around 10,000. We would like to help him build his collection so he can be entered in the Guinness Book of Records. That record is currently a little over 41,000. He is almost a fourth of the way there!!!"

Here is the blog: http://keychains4jerry.blogspot.com/

Now go dig through those junk drawers in the kitchen, and do a little good for the day :)

Bippity Boppity Boo

Shamu we are coming for YOU!

That's right SeaWorld- you better call a special meeting on the correct process to remove triplets from the top of a whale.

Because we are invading San Diego.

Somehow my 10 year anniversary/more bling to the ring/tropical getaway turned into triplet roap trip to San Diego to go to the zoo and Sea World.

By ourselves.
Just me and Drew
alone
outnumbered
God help us

I have a couple months to prepare, plot, plan a course of action/attack, stock up on tape, cartons of diapers, pallets of wipes, 300 sippy cups, blankie GPS systems and of course coordinate outfits, bows and bracelets, count shoes and purchase the vat of sunscreen.

Based on my intermittent forgetfulness, slight procrastination and terrible packing skills, we should be set to go in September

2012.

When in doubt....

I guess you can just write ANYTHING on the office visit slip.

Mr. Mom calls me at work to tell me the conversation that occurred at the Peds office today with my strawberry child.

Dr. Dolittle- "Well, I'm not really sure what it is (even though I went through extensive training at a medical school for many years but probably slept through the "strawberry pink child" class after an all night kegger party). So, I am going to hedge my bets and give him an antibiotic. It may be nothing at all, but let's call it Scarlet Fever."

HUH?
What?

This is not spin the wheel of diseases and just pick what it lands on. So of course I frantically Google Scarlet Fever...

Sore throat - NO
Fever - NO
Vomiting - NO
Rash on neck and chest; rough "sandpaper" feel to the skin - OK
Peeling (desquamation) of the finger tips, toes, and groin - NO
Swollen, red tongue (strawberry tongue) - NO
Pastia's lines (bright red color in the creases of the underarm and groin) - NO
Chills - NO
Headache - Well, I don't think he can say headache yet, so I'll say NO
Generalized discomfort (malaise) - NO
Abdominal pain - NO
Muscle aches - NO

I'm going to hedge my own bets based on 1/12 odds that it is not Scarlet Fever.

Perhaps that was the ICD code of the day.

The good news in he is not quite as pink anymore- so maybe it was just some weird reaction to something.

hmm..that doesn't look right...

I vaguely remember reading somewhere in my parenting handbook that if your child wakes up looking like a strawberry, something, and don't quote me, may not be right.

Dominic has an odd rash, somewhat the color of a strawberry milkshake, and little teeny bumps. Odd.

I have no idea what it is from. The only thing close to what I think could have caused it is the latex balloon he was getting up close and personal with in the car on the way home from Red Robin yesterday. But nothing else latex has ever bothered him before. So Mr. Mom (Drew) taled to the nurse who said to give him Benedryl and keep an eye on it. He's eating, running, etc etc, so aside from looking like something from Dairy Queen, he seems fine.

So Drew is taking him to see the doctor in the morning, because we have not been to the Pediatrician in at least a month, and I am sure they miss us, and our contribution to their salaries.

Did my day really start like this?

Now I understand why so many people have wished me luck when they found out the trio turned 2.

Now I understand why some animals eat their young.

I also understand that hysterical laughing from a nursery is NEVER a good thing.

And hysterical laughing is what occurs when one triplet (RYAN!) rips a hole in his crib tent, and shoves out his pj bottoms, and his diaper (the diaper that gets wrapped on with packing tape).

And points at the pile of POOP on the mattress. And laughs.

Oddly, that is not what I did. Go figure.

Next, a lesson in the the monkey see monkey do method. Pay attention. There might be a quiz.

After wiping up the floor from thrown bananas, french toast and milk sprinkles, because when you are 2, it is way more fun to bean the dog with food and see if he eats it.
(Chihuahuas do not eat bananas or french toast for future reference.)

Up the stairs to throw in some laundry, all is quiet downstairs. Which, in direct contradiction to laughter, ALSO, is not a good thing. There is no good reason why three 2 year olds would be quiet all AT THE SAME TIME, unless mischief was underway.

And so it was.

Dominic got out of his diaper (also wrapped in packing tape) and PEED on the floor through the leg holes of the highchair.

I live in one big outhouse.

--------

Dear 3M,

I appreciate the great strides you have made with your tapes. Some would say they are built to last. And who would argue? After all, they tightly keep packages together, as they make their way through the wear and tear of the United States Postal system, through rain, sleet, snow, and hail.

However, perhaps you should know that your tape is no match for a determined 2 year old. No, your tapes fault terribly against the sheer will of a toddler determined to rip it off a diaper so that he can run amok with just a bare bum.

I'm sadly disappointed, as this was the only option open to me, considering the consequences of what could occur with other adhesives. Super glue involves drying time, and then how would I explain it to hospital personnel should it run and adhere to places that would make some men shudder to even think about. Pins are out, since there is the poking factor. So tell me, 3M, what is a triplet mother of toddlers to do?

Sincerely,
StressTripletMomWipingUpCrapInNevada

Nicknames 2.0

Remember how I had nicknames for the trio before they were born? Mac, Cheese and Pickles? Well, as newly minted 2 year olds they have earned new ones.

Dominic aka Houdini. The child can get out of anything on him. Including diapers. Including diapers with packing tape wrapped around them to keep them on. Industrial strength packing tape. And shirts and shorts diaper pinned together. NOTHING will stay on him.

Aspen aka Princess Musthaveherwayorelse. She has a quite interesting wind up pitch that lasts about 15-30 seconds and get louder and louder and LOUDER until all hell breaks loose. And reasoning with a 2 year old just does not work. Nope-tried it. So did Drew- didn't work for him either. She has won. We are merely pawns in her game of work domination right now.

Ryan aka JabberJaws. He will sit there a give you a 30 minute dissertation including hand gestures and animated facial expressions. Do not dare look like you have no idea what he is saying. Just go along.

Hey Hey It's your Birthday!

Today is the official birthday. Two years- and I still remember the looong 2 hours I was in labor, only for the simple fact that to this day I swear up and down that everything everyone ever told me about labor was a lie- big fat lie. There was no ripple like tightening across the belly. Nope- that's a lie. As soon as they called for the c-section, which somehow triggered the labor- there was no pressure like pulsations- nope.

You want the truth- the cold hard truth?

Can you handle it?

Labor feels like you ate way to much broccoli and you could quite possibly fart a child out straight across the room.


There's your truth. I warned you.

Aside from revisiting that, today was a great day. We took the kids out for dinner, then came home and had a birthday cupcake smashdown outside. I even caught newly adopted favorite Uncle Paulie singing the tune to the Mickey Mouse club in the garage. By the time he leaves- I may even have him changing diapers.

And as newly minted 2 year olds....


Dominic:

-will strip completely naked while taking a nap-a special naked bum up in the air treat when you go to wake him up.
-has figured out a way to torment Ryan with Chicken Dance Elmo to the point of hyperventilating sobs


Aspen:

- has perfected the "wind up temper tantrum"
-can roll her eyes like a pro (I have NO idea where she learned that from)



Ryan:

- will proudly show everyone where his weenie is
- is not the least bit scared when we threaten him with boarding school if he throws his shoes out of the stroller one more time.


Parents:

-are still learning how to live with a healthy dose of insanity

It's been a year already????

It seems like just yesterday I was planning the trio's 1st birthday party. All of a sudden, I found myself planning the 2nd birthday party.

the invite...

the pics...

The yummiest cake EVER. The bakery, Layers, in Green Valley, did such a great job on the cakes. The main cake had a cookies and cream filling layer and the 2nd cake had a raspberry chambord filling. They dusted the cookie favors with some sort a magical pearl accents and the 3 individual cakes for the kids were the perfect size. I will never get a cake from anywhere else- plus Drew is addicted to their chocolate ganache.

The kids had a blast, and way to much sugar, but went to bed peacefully, as did mom and dad since we were all so tired. So overall, I think the party was a hit!

Hoppy Easter!!!

(a day late)

FINALLY, it seems (fingers crossed) that all boogers, snot, fevers and coughs have exited the house. We cane now put away the nebulizers and the weather has been so nice we have all the windows open to air the last germies out. Last week, since the trio got well over the RSV, we went and had some easter pics taken...

well, tried to have some easter pics taken...

Damn it!

Damn It Damn It Damn It

Now Ryan and Dominic have both tested positive for RSV. Oh, and have ear infections just to add a wee bit more fun to the whole mess.

Can a girl catch a break?

So tomorrow Drew and I are disinfecting the house, bombing the playroom, lysoling everything.

I swear I am thinking about mailing used kleenex and boogers to BC.

Just call me the UniBooger.

I don't suck but...

Carefirst Blue Cross Blue Shield does. They may as well change their name to CareLESS.

Aspen has RSV. If the medical director effer had approved their Synagis shots, then maybe, just MAYBE, she wouldn't be as sick as she is. But no, that little effer denied the pre approval AND appeal. I should send the Pulmicort bill to his house along with the nebulizer bill, albuterol bill and doctors bill. And then when I am done, I think I might just shove a bottle of Purell up his ass for good measure.

Does it sound like I am a teeny bit pissed???

I still suck...

OK- maybe I have lost my mojo. Or maybe I have had the crapiest month ever. I could literally write a laundry list of why I have had a crappy month, which would include such elements as not quite midlife crisis which involves 1 totally unexpected career change for Drew. Tad stressful but in the end it should all work out. Hopefully. Not to mention I am the LVMOMS yard sale HOSTESS with the MOSTESS this time. So all you multiple moms best start getting your tags ready. No last minute pricing (Cathy- you know how you are!) running around with the marker the night of the sale!

But, all is ok. After all, Ryan handed me, in his little hand this morning, a gift before I went to work. Not quite a qift from the heart, more like the nose. He handed me a nice hard crusty booger. Lends new meaning to the saying that the best gifts are homemade....

bad blogger...

ok - I know. I am a bad blogger. I am not worthy. But I have really good excuses. Swear I do. And as soon as I come up with them, I will let you know.

ok- I shall start...

I was out of town. Drew and I flew to Baltimore to help my mom pack. We sold the house and Casa de Spring Ave is now owned by a lovely couple. So, after the movers came, it was time to clean 30+ years of dust bunnies from places in that house I don't remember even existed.

So...all my friends will have to pack up and bring themselves and their kids and for those of them still single- their current boyfriends, and hike out to where the weather is warm and there is no chance of snow!

I'm baaaackkk...

I don't feel like an ogre anymore! Woo Hoo! I can actually swallow without feeling like I just shoved tumbleweed down my throat! Yippee!!!

Ahhh, the holidays. I swear it all went by in a strange supersonic blur. In typical Me style, I waited until the VERY last day, aka Christmas Eve, to start wrapping. Bad move. Luckily, I could use the excuse that many of the toys were too oddly shaped to wrap :) It was when Drew was pulling everything out that I started to realize that we had bought WAY TOO MUCH. Amazon had such a huge toy sale and I had already been picking things up I must have lost track. Lots of toys are still under the tree and many have been put away until their birthday. They were so overwhelmed that morning that we would just give them a gift here and there and then right back to the ball pit they would run.

The 300 ball pit of happiness

What a organized playroom (that will last for 30 seconds)!

"I knew there was more under the tree!"