Thursday, November 30, 2006

Meeting of the minds...

I'm not quite sure what they are discussing, but I have a feeling that it has something to do with the fact that they are a litle upset that they are turning orange. That't right- I have tangerine children. I knew when they started solids that I would have peas, carrots and the whole produce lineup flung everywhere in my house. But NO ONE told me that carrots and sweet potatoes not only stain clothes- they stain babies.

Now, it's not like I leave them looking like they just went headfirst into the jars, but Ryan spits. And steals the spoon. And has to stick his hands in his mouth. And there is THREE OF THEM. So when I am by myself, they all line up in the bumbo chairs and I assembly line feed them like a frickin cafeteria lady. Spoon, spoon, spoon, wipe, wipe, wipe. I tried using one hand to feed, the other to wipe. Problem is, I am not that coordinated. If you have seen me dance, you know that this is a true statement.

So by the time I am finished, they have orange rings around their mouths. What the heck is in this stuff? Now, I am sure that Michelle (you know who you are) will tell me to food process these veggies on my own. I even think I own a food processor. I just do not know how to use it. My mechanical abilities in the kitchen include mixers, microwaves, corkscrews and can openers. I even ruined one of those $499.99 Pampered Chef ice cream scoopers by sticking it the dishwasher- which apparently is a GIANT no-no.

So, I have to choose between slightly tinted triplets or out of control kitchen appliances.

Sunday, November 26, 2006

Touchdown RAVENS!

The Baltimore Ravens have 3 new fans- complete with gear -courtesy of our friends Dawn and Brian :)

They all got dressed and watched the Ravens embarrass the Steelers today.

Saturday, November 25, 2006

Christmas came early this year!

I'm just finishing up feeding breakfast bottles when the doorbell rings. Assuming that it is the 54 cans of formula that I just ordered, I go open the door to drag those suckers in.

When what do my wondering eyes does appear? (or however it goes)
But a case of crab chips (minus the beer)!
There are certain things that should never be taken for granted:
1. A great pair of black boots
2. Jeans that always fit
3. The ability to get care packages from home.
It all started when Drew flew back to Baltimore for a golf tournament. He calls at 1 am in the morning crunching on crab chips after just leaving a Wawa (desperate for food, nothing was open, he was scrounging at this point). That started my cravings for cream of crab soup, shrimp salad, crab cakes, butterscoth krimpets and UTZ CRAB CHIPS! For those of you who have no idea what a krimpet is- that just means more left for me!
I have harrassed almost every server in Las Vegas where the chef makes the mistake of putting "Maryland crab cakes" on the menu. The only thing close to a crab cake is the fact that they are round. Then they go and put stupid stuff on them like roumalade sauce, or garlic purees, or even (gasp) APPLESAUCE! I have NEVER seen a Maryland crab cake with applesauce on it. If you even attempted this at home, you would be taken downtown, shot on Federal Hill and dumped in the Inner Harbor.
So anyway, I can check crab chips off my list. Now all I need are the rest of my Balteeemore fixes. (shhh- don't tell Drew- I hid the chips!)

Friday, November 24, 2006

Happy Turkey Leftover Day!

Since I just came out of a self induced turkey/mashed potato/apple pie induced coma, I could only muster up enough strength to post pics of the kids on their 1st turkey day:

Dominic was so happy he decided to try a little bit of "air guitar"

Ryan doing some warm up stretches before eating

Aspen wondering how much bigger her hairbows are going to get.

Friday, November 17, 2006

Acetone lifesavers

Fun fact for the day....

1 gallon of paint will cover approximately 350 square feet.


a 1/2 ounce bottle of nail polish will cover 6 12 x 12 tiles.

Unfortunately this tidbit of knowledge was tested in my kitchen last night, when, a very small bottle of "Candy Apple Pink" nail polish decided to jump right off the counter and throw itself on the tile floor.

Yep, it looked like I massacred Pink Panther right in my kitchen. It was EVERYWHERE. Thank goodness Drew (aka Mr. Clean) was not home or he would has passed out right there on the floor. What the heck was I going to do? He was going to KILL me (even though technically it was not my fault- the polish must have had a death wish). It's not like when I spilled it on the carpet and I snipped it up- NOPE- this called for drastic measures.

Meanwhile, one of my neighbors had flowers delivered and they were not home. So I got to babysit them. They STUNK. My house smelled like a funeral parlour.

So I do what any resourceful ex-girl scout would do. Ok, so I was only a girl scout for 3 months, no one told me you actually had to camp in the woods - I do not camp, nor did I ever feel like I would need to know how to tie a good slipknot. Betcha Drew knows how, since when he saw this mess, I surely was going to the bottom of Lake Mead with some new concrete shoes.

Nail polish = nail polish remover

So I get on my hands and knees and start scrubbing, like Cinderella trying to get to the ball. By the time I was finished, I decided that I must write a letter to Revlon to 1] complain that they really should make shatterproof nailpolish bottles, and 2] if not, at least they make a damn good polish remover.

Monday, November 13, 2006

Beirut, Nevada

Drew and I had finally went to bed at a semi decent hour last night. Only for me to be scared ****less at 3 am.

I thought we were having an earthquake.

1st thoughts - get the kids
2nd thoughts - get my shoes and purse collection
3rd thought- get the dog
4th thought - find my husband

When I realized it just must have been some sort of boom, I figured I may as well use the lavatory while I was awake. It's a DANG GOOD THING I was already there because what happened next pretty much scared the p*ss right out of me. Thank goodness for tile floors. The loudest BOOM that I have ever heard shook my house like a meteor came right through it. Once I started breathing again, I looked outside and saw flashes of light behind my neighbor's house across the street. I ran frantically through the house trying to find Drew, who was MIA. As I am tearing through the house, I look outside and the field behind my neighbors house has a GIANT fireball burning in it. I scream, telling Drew that a plane just crashed in the field and to call 911.

(ok - this I don't understand- the kids apparently can sleep right through flaming fireball explosions)

So Drew calls 911, to let them know. And they tell us it is a vehicle fire. WHAT??? What vehicle spontaneously explodes at 3am???

Construction trucks.

Some freakin yahoo blew up a construction truck.

Now, I understand being a disgruntled employee, but wouldn't this be taking things a tad too far? I mean, when Drew has a bad day at work, he doesn't toss a designer out the window, and I don't pitch my computer off the balcony (ok- I did come close 1 time, but then I realized that I just would end up with an even slower one).

So hopefully tonight, all major construction equipment will remain intact, and I will get some sleep.

I might gather my shoes up just in case.

Friday, November 10, 2006

Stay tuned......

On January 1st, 2007, Drew and I will be unveiling our new project. We are very excited!


Stay tuned for more info!

6 Months Old!

and Aspen is below!

Midnight chats

Aspen came off the oxygen!!! Drew took her for her sleep study Oct 24th and we just got the results. Apparently calling the doctor's office everyday did not light a fire under their behinds. But anyway, she was tape free as of last night. Now we are just waiting in Dominic's results, but according to Drew (who apparently is a Pulmonologist and I was unaware), Dominic's saturation levels were even better.

All three have figured out how to make sounds, which REALLY is enjoyable when they all decide to debate world issues at 2:00 in the morning. Last night we woke up to:

Ryan - "Ooogie woogie" (with a hint of whine to it)

Dominic - "Hoo Hoo"

Aspen - " Caa Caa"

Me and Drew "SHHHHHHH"

Tonight's topic will probably be how Mom's ugly maternity clothes did not sell on Ebay.

Saturday, November 04, 2006

The rice cereal exorcism...

Drew and I are boneheads.

WHY WHY WHY we did the stupid thing we did last night I will never know.

It all started out as a quiet evening. The munchkins were fed and SLEEPING. Around 10pm, we decided to MOVE them upstairs and put them in the crib (well, Ryan sleeps in the bassinet because he is too dangerous in the crib with Dominic and Aspen, scootin' around like he has wheels attached to his rear).

Up goes Aspen
Up goes Dominic
Up goes Ryan

Then all hell breaks loose. All three start screaming in sheer anger at the MORONIC people that became their parents. Apparently there is some truth behind the saying "Do not wake a sleeping baby". The new motto should be " Do not wake sleeping triplets unless you are prepared to handle the same amount of chaos that could be compared to a prison riot."

They screamed in unison for 20 minutes. Bloodcurdling screams like we just told them that there was no Santa Claus.

So what do I decide to do? It is at this point that my parenting membership card should have been revoked. Most parents would have soothed them to sleep. HA! Amateurs! THIS IS THE PERFECT TIME TO TRY RICE CEREAL! COMPLETE WITH BOWLS AND SPOONS!

Words of advice....

1] Babies do not like spoons when they are mad.
2] Rice cereal goes very far when spit from mad babies.
3] Rice cereal and formula will stain the paint on your walls.
4] It is very difficult to get rice cereal out of ear canals.

Stay tuned for more "Parenting 101 by Drew and Joselle".