Exersaucer on time out

The developmental specialist from Early Intervention came today to check out the kiddos. I apparently am the ONLY mother of 29 weeker preemies whose kids were not accepted by EI. The only reason I even have a DS come to the house is because they "conditionally" accepted Aspen because of her stiff joint issue- but I am responsible for treatment myself, they would not provide services. Fine- because there is a 5 month waiting list for therapy thru them anyway. They evaluated Dominic and Ryan again (3rd time) and they were denied again (3rd time). I can't even get on the waiting list!

So, on one hand I am very pleased because the DS said they are right where they need to be for their adjusted age and that they are not behind in any way and they are doing great. ON THE OTHER HAND- I'm ticked. I have every right to ensure that my kids catch up to to where they need to be by age two. That fact that they are right where they need to be for their adjusted age is great- but I want to make sure that every opportunity for them to catch up to their actual age is available. Don't insult me by telling me "funding has been cut therefore preemies are not automatically accepted". BULLSHIT.



Here's a suggestion to solve your "budget issues" -comment edited to avoid causing a riot and major political debate.



So now I have turned into PISSED OFF PROACTIVE MOM. If I have to eventually resort to matchbook negotiations (a very effective tactic to help individuals see my way - courtesy of my father)- I will do so. I can be a GIANT pain in the ass when the need arises. Thank goodness my insurance will cover OT and PT while I drive EI crazy.



So, the only bit of advice I got from them today was to keep Dominic out of the exersaucer because he keeps his legs extended (which is making him quite unhappy). Gee thanks

New Visa commercial???

Books............$1000

Tuition............$1 Gazillion dollars

Drew remembering nothing from college except meeting Flavor Flav.....PRICELESS

(1993)

I can't even begin to explain............or understand.............

Apparently Mr. Flav was vacationing and stopped by the 'ol college radio station for an interview.

I always wondered why Drew was so fond of his Public Enemy cd.....

Note to Self #3 and various pics....

Note to Self #3

If you are on a diet, and you are seriously drooling at the mouth for something sweet with no nutritional value whatsoever- DO NOT burn a Buttercream scented Yankee Candle. Wax is not edible.

"I'll be the entertainment this afternoon."

"Don't mess with me- I'm crawling and I have a mohawk!"

"Look at me roll my tongue!"

Watch out world- here he comes!

Ryan is mobile. Crawling. He has been very good at the belly scoot. But just 10 minutes ago, he just up and did it, all perfectly coordinated with the little knees going and everything.

Even though I am full of bananas with mixed berries, slobber and formula, it does put it into a new perspective.

And though they have not napped, and this weekend was one of those pull your hair out weekends, one fat little diapered bottom made me realize that it's all o.k.

Hats of to you SAHM....

Yesterday was an awakening like a cold glass of water right in the face.

I could never be a stay at home mom.

More power to all the SAHMs in the world, because I could never be a member of your club.

I prefer smelling like perfume rather than peas, and yesterday Ryan made sure that "la garden veggietables" were flung in such way that they hid in crevices I never knew existed.

When I was pregnant, I could smell food, in a desk drawer, from across the room. I could have moonlighted as a drug sniffing dog at the airport. Yesterday, when Drew came home, I pretended that I didn't know Aspen had pooped. And trust me, she smelled like a circus elephant.

Today they have decided to begin a new fun game called "synchronized pooping" Not 1, not 2, but 3 stanky diapers all at 1 noxious smelling time (what is in baby food?).

Naps- forget about it. This has been a no nap weekend. Probably because Ryan and Dominic are competing to see who can be the loudest-even Princess Aspen has joined the competition.

Now I must go, it is time to referee the banana and pears slingshot competition to see who can get it in Mommy's eye.

Overpriced big giant bowl of water....

When the living room / bar / aquarium room was turned into the playroom, things had to be relocated. Bar went upstairs, since it would look extremely inappropriate if we left it in the playroom. As interesting as the controversy would have been, it didn't match the colored mats anyway. Next was the fish tank.

This sore spot / fungus / GIANT PAIN IN MY ASS since it's introduction into our marriage was moved into the office. I hate this thing with every ounce of bone marrow in my body. I have hated it regardless of the fact that Drew downsized it. Doesn't matter. IT MUST BE DESTROYED.

The fish don't even like it. I secretly have gotten a good laugh every time one of his overpriced fish from some exotic place jumped out of the thing, only to become an afternoon snack for the cats.

When we lived in Bel Air, I couldn't turn the lights on in the basement if the tank was "sleeping". A mere flick of the light switch would "disrupt the moon cycle and scare the fish".

ARE YOU KIDDING ME?

To make matters worse, Drew moved everything into buckets that are sitting in the garage which has now taken on the same scent as a dead octopus that has been rotting on land for a week. Right now, the only thing in it is rocks- oh, my fault- CORAL (aka- overpriced sea rocks).

FISH TANK MUST GO

to be continued.....................

Note to Self #1 and #2

Just the beginning of a long list of things I must remember since apparently I have the memory of a funnel ( or sponge, or was it an elephant...I can't remember the saying).

Note to Self #1

Do not try a new "make-up look" before going to work. Nope- not a good idea. Especially if it is 5:45am. One ill thought out sweep of the eyeshadow brush and KABAAM- I instantly looked like Marilyn Manson. And of course it is now too late to start over. So I try to distract away from the bright purple eyeshadow with just a few coats of mascara. Now I have morphed into a bad goth Tammy Fay Baker. WHY WHY didn't I just stick to the everyday neutral tones? Off to work I go, accesorized with a quite interesting necklace that seemed to distract the attention away from my paint by numbers makeup job.

Note to Self #2

If Ryan pees thru his diaper 5 nights in a row, there is a GOOD chance that it has nothing to do with the direction that the..um..Mr. Winkie is pointing. BUY BIGGER DIAPERS. Especially since Aspen peed thru hers last night, and I know that nothing on her needs to be pointed a certain direction.

Thank goodness this is tax deductible.....

Dear State of Nevada DMV,

Thank you for giving me the opportunity to renew the registration on my vehicles, which, totaled more than the monthly mortgage payment on my first house. I also would like to send my gratitude for the additional fee that I pay for "specialty plates" so that they can be stolen in the parking lot of Home Depot. But don't worry, because the police assured me that should my stolen plates be used in the commission of a crime, that they have made a note of my report. Finally, I would also like to thank you for not requiring me to have a smog emissions check this year, as I am certain that due to one fermenting formula bottle that disappeared under the seat, it would not pass.

Holy Toes the Sequel

Well, I guess I should say Holy Socks Part 1

I am still having sock issues with Dominic. Now I can't even leave him unattended with socks on his feet. I walked into the playroom and he had his socks shoved in his mouth, flapping out of his mouth like a turkey wattle.

This is my fault. I am being paid back because I made fun of a girl in grade school who used to wear socks with those gawd awful jelly shoes (the ones that made your feet stink and rocks would get caught in the heels). I swear life is all about karma.

So now Dominic is on sock restriction. Now he feasts on his pajamas and shirts. At least these stay attached to him.

They want to put everything in their mounths. It's like I have 3 Hungry Hungry Hippos and it's a race to see who can chew the most. I am a Pier 1 addict and now everything is getting boxed up until they are in college. (Hey- if they had Pier 1 Anonymous, would they burn Pier 1 candles during the support groups?).

We are even having a problem with Moo. The other day, we defrosted chicken- since that is all I eat- I may as well move to a farm. Next thing I know the cat is running past me, raw chicken hanging from his mouth . I then have to play tug -o-chicken-breast to get it out of his mouth.

Well, at least I am down another pound. Cat chewed chicken = menu change / yogurt dinner.

Terrific Triplet Sanity Saving Products

There are certain things that I have learned that you cannot compromise on in life. High thread count sheets (for me), nice towels (for Drew), and anything that can make life a tad less hectic when trying to raise / tame / handle triplets (for us).

STROLLERS

We have 4. Why? Well, when we thought we we only going to have twins- in came the Graco Duoglider (#1). Then when Aspen became the miracle that she is- out we ran for the single stroller (#2). Knowing that we would never be alone in public with all 3 this did not seem like a big deal at the time. Then I met the triplet moms. By the end of the night- I raced home to buy the TRIPLE DECKER / BMW / LIFESAVER stroller (#3).

I love this stroller. It is so light and pretty much indestructible. But, unless I get the toddler conversion seats (which look very uncomfortable), it is finished when they are out of car seats (sniff sniff).

SO...I thought ahead. And instead of getting the Runabout which everyone AGAIN swears I will love, (but do I ever listen right away?) I got the Inglesina Triplet (#4).It's very heavy, and I have no idea how I am going to get it in my trunk. But it looks quite British pram-ish and I like it. Even though I may have to get it a license plate and tow it behind my car.

HIGH CHAIR TABLE

I do not have to worry about moving 3 high chairs around the kitchen, or trying to get food sludge out of the crevices- because this has none! Flat surface + removeable plastic seats = easy cleanup. Just one small problem. Dominic hates it. Screams 90% of the time he is in it. Have to work on that.

Now, if I could only find a dryer that folds baby clothes......

So much for that....

I am 31 years old, and I am on time out.

Apparently my mother did not see the humor in my link, considering at 7am this morning words such as "appalling", "obnoxious", and "repulsive" were blasted into my unsuspecting eardrums at decibels that could rival a rock concert. So I calmed her down to a semi - human level again once I explained to her that I didn't actually type the stuff- the coverter did yada yada yada. At that point she told me that if I wanted to play with a toy, I could learn to use the vacuum cleaner.

HALT

For the record, my vacuum cleaner is way too complicated. When the old one broke, (and Drew almost cried, those who know my husband know he is a neat freak- how we ended up together- I have no idea), he spent hours researching a new one. More time was spent looking at vacuum cleaner options than on our last car. So off we go to Target, his research in hand, where I promptly left him in the aisle. Only to return to find that him walking UP and DOWN the aisle test driving them. At that point I decided I could never come between the man and his machine. I couldn't even tell you where it is in the house. He probably has it locked up, or in the garage so he can polish it after he finishes waxing his car. Which, he pointed out, has a hood reflection so clear that you could use it as a mirror.

Because I'm going to need to stick my head out the window on the freeway to fix my hair?

My new fun toy......

In a moment of utter boredom after the trio went to bed, I found a link for this website that translates everything into Snoop Dogg talk. Just call me J-O-S-E- double L- E. Yeah, so anyway, I have spent that last 1/2 hour cracking myself up translating anything- even the blog!

You gotta try it - this will keep me entertained for AT LEAST another hour, or until I find another mindless thing to humor me.

Just click the spinning rim- that's right- I have a spinning rim on my blog.

And, I only lost 1.5 pounds this week. I batted my eyes at the male nurse and asked for 2 diet shots. He said no. So I asked for 3. He said no and called security. No, he didn't call security, but he DID NOT have a sense of humor. And seriously, if your job duties on a daily basis consist of shoving diets shots into pasty white asses (mine included since it has not seen a tanning bed since 2004), you NEED to have a sense of humor.

Tomorrow = Friday= Weigh In = HELL

"Crazy girl arrested at diet clinic- news at 6pm"

I can just see it now. I was so spoiled by a 10 pound weight loss in 1 week that the SHEER thought of not even losing the same amount this week frightens me. This diet has consumed me. The mere idea of eating a processed greasy artery clogging cheeseburger makes me want to hurl. I can just see me running through the office tomorrow shoving diet shots in my butt as they wrestle me to the ground like some sort of crack addict.

I wonder if Drew would bail me out?

Show me the TEETH!

Ryan has 2 half teeth. I tried in vain to get a picture of them today. Me -vs- 8 month old. I lost.

It's freakin' cold and other various rants.....

Ok- today is the 1st day that I almost cheated on my diet. I REALLY wanted pizza. But (sigh) I stayed strong, and ate cottage cheese. And I felt much better after I went for my diet / butt shot and got the grand total of all my hard work for the last week (drumroll) 10 pounds!!!! and no signs of any extra appendages growing!

In other news....

Drew and I just returned from Los Angeles late last night with Aspen who had an appointment at Shriner's for her hips.
rant #1- It is absolutely pathetic that I have to resort to taking her to California because there are only 2 Pediatric orthopedic practices in Vegas. One does not take my insurance, the 2nd bozo I almost threw out a window when he put Aspen in a contraption that made her look like a frog puppet and she screamed for 5 hours. Plus, now I know he also misdiagnosed her.

So Drew and I take her back in February and they are going to put both hips back into the sockets and cast her for 3 months.

rant #2 - While in CA, we stayed at the Crowne Plaza Beverly Hills. I have stayed in enough icky hotels in my lifetime to just be annoyed at just the thought of having to stay in one at all. So, if I am going to pay $200 + a night to hopefully avoid misery- DO NOT insult my intelligence and think I won't notice the GIANT pee stain on the crib mattress. I just paid $18 for a freakin' club sandwich from room service, you can afford a new one.

Thank goodness we took the baby papasan chair with us just in case. Nasty pee crib went in the hallway.

rant #3 - Aspen had on a pink sweater and jeans with pink on the hem. Yet the receptionist felt the need to say "Isn't he handsome!"

rant #4 - No one knows how to merge. That is why there is so much traffic in LA. That is why they only let 1 car on the freeway at a time. Everyone is too damn scared to merge. Hey- I am from the East Coast. We are born with the ability to merge. That is why we are so good at cutting people off. In order to do this, you have to be a skilled merger. We can merge while on our cell, cut you off, finish our breakfast and change the radio station ALL AT ONE TIME.

and finally..

rant #5 - it is too cold here. I did not sign up for 21 degrees in Vegas. Nowhere in the new resident guide does it state that you could possibly freeze your butt off and that it might not be a good idea to pitch all your cold weather apparel when you arrive. If I wanted to deal with snow advisories, I would have stayed in Baltimore.

Ahh, I feel much better now. The old me would have just ate some Ben and Jerry's and called it a night. This is a much more low calorie alternative!

Bye bye blubber

Even though I told myself I was not going to weigh myself, I did. As of last night I am down 6 pounds! And, no sign of an extra foot! PLUS, it has totally cured me of my soda addiction. I don't even drink diet soda anymore. It all tastes flat. Yippee! I even had energy when I got up at 5:30 am for work, and I had about 1 hour of sleep.

This is the new me. Ok, it's not ACTUALLY me, but it will be in 8 weeks! Just when I thought the days of shoving needles in my rumpus were over- I decided to sign up with some friends for the rockin weight loss program to get rid of post pregnancy (me and Dena) and too much drinking (Kelley) excess yuckiness.

Time to dust of the ol treadmill! They only side effect so far is a GIANT bruise on my butt. The pills do something wonky and make you not crave stuff like fountain Coke's from McDonalds and fried dough. I actually ate egg white with tomatoes this morning for breakfast. WHAT THE HELL! I also have this weird craving for broccoli that I kinda hope goes away.

Too much IVF and carrying triplets has turned my body into a kangaroo figure.

So 2007 is the YEAR OF GETTING RID OF THE POUCH!!!

If these shots and pills make me grow an extra toe or foot- SO BE IT! I will at least have a smokin body! (and I have enough shoes to handle the extra foot anyway)

The aftermath....

My family room has been declared a war zone.

I am missing a cat. I can see Moo's tail, but even he is smart enough to know that it is safer to hide under the tree (and trust me- he is not a smart feline. There are toys EVERYWHERE from Christmas.

I came home from work today to find that Drew has turned the living room / game room / aquarium room into a playroom. When we bought this house, I had visions of what a beautiful formal living room this room would make. It never fulfilled it's dream. And my husband has already claimed the family room, so that leaves me with the loft. A loft cannot be a formal living room. It just won't work.

I spent hours painstakingly fretting over what tile to put in the downstairs. It is now going to be covered in bright colored foam mats.

We tossed around the idea of turning the loft into the playroom but then we realized that was not a good idea. 1] I can only imagine Ryan trying to stick his head through the rail. 2] The door to the front balcony is in the loft. I do not need Ryan to try and be Superman off the balcony. Plus it is all glass. Glass shatters. My brother taught me this when he broke the front window of our house trying to sneak in when he was 13.

Oh, and when Drew realized how much it was going to cost to put a gate around the room, he declared- "I will build one!" I can just imagine the bright orange ski slope barriers in there now.

The whole problem is basements. Las Vegas needs more house with basements. That's right. To hell with caliche! Let's all get our shovels together and demand basements! Basements are indestructible. Heck, I used to roller skate around my basement in my favorite Strawberry Shortcake pajamas and twirl a baton ( I am TALENTED) and never damaged a thing! When Drew and I were looking for another house, we found some new ones with "basements"- but in reality they were more like 10x10 wine cellers. You cannot put kids in a wine celler- bad idea.

So this weekend I think I will go the Home Depot and get me a shovel, and build a basement. That way Drew does not have to turn our living room into the double diamond slope at Breckenridge.