Friday, April 20, 2007

Project Bambino - Part 6

(2004)

So after the Dr. Looneypants debacle, I set out to find another OBGYN. I was set on finding a woman, only because the whole thought of male OBGYNs kinda creeped me out. I had visions of guys I went to college with, and what their response would have been when asked what their major was while getting drunk at keg parties. ("Dude, I'm going to be an OBGYN" and then puking in the corner).

HOWEVER, about this time, major issues with malpractice insurance came into play in this lovely state, and all OBGYNs fled the area like they were being chased by giant cold speculums. Needless to say, pickins' were slim.

So I ended up with a man. My sister put it into perspective when she told advised me that they see "nether regions" all day long, and what did I think was so special about mine that it was going to stand out.

So Dr. ReallyTall sat down and went over my history, and after he put the Scotch down (nah, just kidding) decided to send me for lab work. When that came back, he thought that there was an insulin issue that could be throwing me out of whack, and put me on Metformin (aka Glucophage). What the script does not tell you, is that the side effects of this could be compared to eating a burrito from a street vendor in Tijuana. After drinking cheap tequila. Not fun times.

So after realizing that this may not be the right avenue, he sent me to THE FERTILITY SPECIALIST. I called and tried to make an appointment with Dr. SpendsTooMuchOnAdvertising, and ended up seeing his partner Dr. NiceBedsideManner* (will have additional name later).

I was so excited. After all, he is the SPECIALIST, the messed up innards guru, the broken uterus fixer, the jacked up hormone repair man. Surely he can fix anything that's wrong.

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

to be continued...

1 comment:

DraMa said...

You're killing me. Obviously I know the end result but I love reading this series and hate waiting for the next phase!