Martha who???...

Sometimes I amaze myself with the things I can do with a staple gun and some hot glue. World issues could probably be solved with just a couple of staples and 900 degree glue.

My newest creation...

It's a board for all of Aspen's bows! All 1 million of them! I have reached new levels of organization!

Now once you snap back to reality from my sheer brilliance and handiwork :) go over and meet my friend Dena. We were due 2 days apart and she kept me sane by putting up with all my neurotic symptom over analyzing and addiction to pregnancy tests. She warned me about not so great maternity wear choices (if only I had listened) and always reminded me to drink more water :). Now she has entered blogland and there is no turning back. muhahaha :)

My newest obsession...

It's all about the bling.

Since I have made sure that Aspen has bows to match all her outfits, I decided that she needed bracelets. And because I can NEVER do anything low key- I have already made 20. I now own enough beads to create a snazzy 90's retro prom dress.

"Mommy made me a bracelet- let me get a look at this thing."

"WHAT! No diamonds???"

Go Eat Honey!!!

I have all three kids in speech therapy on Fridays. Even though they are only 14 months, I'd rather be ahead of the game then have to play catch up. They had their eval last week and they all scored right where they need to be for the most part. However, since it is private therapy, and Aspen already gets PT and OT there---well, they accepted them.




Apparently I did not talk until I was 3- my mother said I haven't shut up since.


Anyway...

While I am there, the therapist asked me how they were doing on sippy cups. Oh, you mean the formula filled missiles they like to throw? So she goes and grabs the "I wish I had thought of that" sippy cup. The Honey Bear Cup

It is an empty honey bear with tubing for the straw. My first thought was "No way in hell could this possibly work." Wrong. Ryan, the main culprit behind sippy cups tossing LOVED it. He started using the straw right away. Yippee!

So I can either order them already made, or I can start eating alot of honey and send Drew to Home Depot for the tubing. However, since I hate honey, and Drew would come back with not only the tubing, but solar screens (our energy solution), a new drill, and other man stuff- it might be cheaper just to order them.

Bad ideas when trying to conserve electricity...

Some attempted energy conserving ideas that just didn't pan out...

1] Shaving your legs in the dark- just don't do it unless you or your spouse are trained in applying tourniquets or stitches in a jiffy.

2] Scrounging for a snack in your pantry - especially if there is the possibility that the bagel you are trying to make can be mistaken for blueberry, when in fact, those "blueberries" are actually mold spores.

3] Bubble baths in the dark - unless you want to miss the tub and slip, thus causing very sharp tile edge to bang into shin, causing a very unsightly 5 inch long bruise.

But- the good news is that it did rain- complete with thunder and LIGHTENING. So we used the lightening as natural light :) Seriously- we have turned all the lights off in the house- it looks like a bomb shelter. Even though we did change all the bulbs to those funny looking energy conserving ones last year. I think I may move into my car since with my newly tinted windows and high powered A.C- I should be set.


Now I understand why my father would always yell at me to turn off lights when I was a kid and shut the door when the air was on. Apparently I really AM trying to cool the neighborhood now.

Cotton- the next food group...

"Hey Mommy- can you feed this kid so he stops eating my shirt?"

I would also like to send a bit of gratitude to the nice folks at Nevada Power for making me realize that I am an energy hog. Shame on me- that's right- punish me by whipping me back into energy conservation with a bill that included numbers such a 6,3,8- in that precise order. Who are we kidding? Why call it a bill? WHY NOT CALL IT A FINE!!! So I have ran around the house unplugging anything that could be using 1 teeny ounce of electricity, jacking up the thermostat, and even unplugged the charger to Drew's toothbrush. He will just have to use a manual one and suffer. Now I must go eat everything in my fridge 'cause I'm turning it off and surviving on peanut butter and jelly sandwiches to conserve energy until September.

Acrobats, ketchup and utensils...

In the last 3 days...

1] When the boys wake up in the morning, I put them together in 1 crib so they can play for a bit. As I am standing in the doorway, Dominic climbed ON TOP of Ryan, leaned over and FLIPS feet over head out of the crib. And it is already lowered. Now I understand why triplet moms are big fans of crib tents. (note to self- find crib tents)

2] Ryan stole silverware from Red Robin yesterday. We found them underneath his seat in the stroller. I made Drew go in and return them. I refuse to encourage his little crime spree.

3] I learned the meaning of Murphy's Law. I wore a white shirt to work today, only to splat ketchup on it- more specifically - RIGHT ON MY BOOB. It looked like a nipple massacre with a spork.

Happy Birthday DaDa!

Saturday was Drew's birthday so we gathered up the trio, Liz and our adopted family member Richard (Drew's buddy from college) and went to Maggiano's at the Fashion Show. The kids were very well behaved and took quite a liking to avocado (blech).

coming soon... banned from Red Robin, biting, and pole vaulting crib disasters...

Seeking a new pediatrician...

Because the one I go / went to has an office staff that SUCKS. I have never dealt with a bigger group of bozos in my entire life. Stupid, idiotic, half brained dumb-asses.

It all started when my OT suggested to have the trio come in for speech evals. Well, in order to do so, they told me that I needed to get a referral. Which, I have never had to do since I have a PPO, but whatever. Every time I am at the Peds, they give me referrals for unknown reasons like the have a quota to meet. A few examples of the new level of stupidity they have reached:

1] I called to make the 12 month check up appointment a month in advance. The bozo on the phone asks if it will be a sick visit. WTF??? I told her that if anything changed in the next 4 weeks I would let her know.

2] Sends over a fax to Aspen's neurologist requesting that they schedule an appointment for an eval. They listed me as the patient. When the neuro called- it was quite an interesting conversation.

3] Tried to tell me that Synagis shots received in February would last until the end of April. It's a 30 day shot. Counting is not one of the job requirements apparently.

So I called yesterday to get this referral at 8:30 am. Dumbass #1 says no problem- she will have the Dr fax it over. Ok -fine. When I called at 5:12pm to follow up, Dumbass #2 tells me the Dr. doesn't do them, some other dipsh!t in their office does, but that I don't need one because I have a PPO. After I explain to her that it is a requirement from the therapy center, she says the doctor will fax it over that night. What happened to dipsh!t referral moron she just referred to?

So I call the therapy center today and they don't have it. I called back to the Peds office, got a different jackass on the phone who said maybe they can do it today. Oh no, it was that precise moment that I decided to ruin someone's day. Give the office manager now!

So the head dumbass gets on the phone and says that I don't need one blah blah blah. After I explain again that they are requiring one, she proceeds to tell me that they can take up to a week. This is the moment that I decided to enlighten her in a not so nice way about her inadequacies in educating her office staff since obviously they did not know this little rule. She then proceeded to apologize to me, and I let her know her apology was worthless, much like her and her staff.
Thankfully for her, I hung up on her before I could recommend where she could stick her apology and give her a referral for a proctologist.

It's official...

The triplets will be invading Baltimore! Yep, I did it. I booked flights for Drew, Liz and myself for the 1st week of September, with kiddies on our laps. Please let them sleep thru the flight!

In other news...

The 2007 Peg Perego Triplette stroller, complete with steering wheel, will be joining our family!!!

I'm so excited! I think I just might love it as much as Drama loves her Stella :)

6 went out, 5 came back...

It is hot in Vegas. Hot as hell. Only, I think hell might just be a tad cooler right now.

Anyway- because the 60% Gymboree sale ends Saturday, and I had to go over to Henderson anyway, why not stop at the Galleria and enjoy the fruits of all the hardworking sale creators at Gymboree and partake in their lovely Gymbucks promotion?

We left the house with 6 shoes. We returned with 5. Now there is a good chance perhaps one of them melted off between the car and the front door of the mall. And considering that when the 2nd shoe was returned by the lovely lady in Gymboree, and Dominic somehow had gotten ahold of a pair of shocking pink flip flops, I think it was all part of his master plan.

Happy 4th of July!

Boogers

An entire post about boogers.

My kids create the LARGEST boogers I have ever seen in an infant's nose. Giant hard crusted particles of snot. They are not stuffy, so I have no idea where the ingredients for these alien balls of slime come from. Solid chunks of snot that would take you eye out if hit by one in a snot shot battle.

I went to grade school with a grungy little boy who would always pick his nose and try to rub it on the girls. And we always picked on him (no pun intended).

PLEASE DON'T LET THIS BE KARMA!

Boys will be boys...

Brotherly love... how sweet

Lasted an entire 2 minutes...

The Exorcist and Coconut Bra girl...

Drew and I decided to take the trio to the Miracle Mile shops at the Planet Hollywood casino. 1] they have a Baby Gap, 2] We wanted to try an overpriced not so tasty cheeseburger at Cheeseburger Las Vegas. So we feed them a gourmet lunch of split pea and ham soup, and carrots. All was flying along smoothly until Dominic projectile vomited.

At the precise moment that poor unaware Baci was standing. right..under..the..highchair table.


Pea soup covered chihuahua, 2 triplets in hysterics, 1 triplet covered in pea soup.


So after power washing the dog and Dominic, we got them dressed and headed out. We reached the restaurant and sat down to enjoy a nice family lunch. Then over came Coconut Bra girl. Well, let's just say that Dominic stared. And I mean stared like he knew what he was looking at. Right at the plastic coconut covered twins. She was selling leis for the Susan G. Komen organization. She asked us if we wanted to get lei'd, and then my otherwise non-comedic husband decided to tell her that was how we ended up with triplets. Har Har Har snicker snicker. Then whipped the wallet out so fast I thought he might have broke his wrist.


So, I REALLY need him to help me work in the other garage. Anyone have a plastic coconut bra I can borrow?

"Daddy- are those real coconuts?"

Totally unimpressed with the indoor thunderstorm show.

GIANT lizards and other things...

I do not like crawly things. They scare me. The other day, I went outside to walk to the mailbox. As I walked towards the gate, a GIANT 6 inch lizard ran across the path towards the front door. Then the GIANT thing jumped up on the door like it was going to ring the door bell. I am frozen with fear at this point. How do I get back in the house? Am I going to have to wrestle this thing to the ground? Finally, he scurried away.

I ran in the house, thankful that I did not get attacked by this thing. All of a sudden, a freakin' dust tornado comes thru (if you live in the desert, you know what I am talking about). This thing FLIPPED over my patio table, tossed chairs into the pool, and flung my umbrella into the neighbor's house across the street. My thought? HA HA- GIANT lizard is probably somewhere in Massachusetts by now. Whew!

Nope

GIANT lizard came back, and brought a friend. So now I have GIANT lizard and his buddy chilling out in my sideyard like some weird reptilian vacation.

I need a Flowbee...

Ryan and Dominic have started to resemble Chia pets. So, after stuffing them full of fruit on hopes of giving the full tummy sedation, I broke out the scissors. Not professional haricutting shears. Nope, the smallest pair I had were safety scissors from Target. Cross your fingers.

I think it went well... In 2 weeks, the bald spots will hardly be noticeable.

Before...

After...

"Don't even think about getting those scissors near me Mommy!"

All about me 101

ok- so apparently after you hit 100 posts in "blogland", you are supposed to write 100 things about yourself. That's it? Only 100? I could go on for daaays. But *sigh* I will keep it to 100- starting in increments of 10. Just 'cause 100 things is alot to type at 1 time. Plus I can organize them into nice neat sections :)

1-10 (all my pet peeves)

1. Shoulder bumps from hangers in the shoulders of shirts.
2. When people wear various shades of black and think it's ok. NO! There is blue black, brown black, gray black etc. UGH
3. People that order waaay too much food thru the drive thru window. More than 2 people- GO INSIDE!!!
4. People that leave their blinkers on for miles. To avoid this- I just don't use one at all.
5. People that mispronounce "Illinois". I don't live there, but I'm taking up for the whole state.
6. When menus say "World Famous" when in reality, it's not.
7. Emails that make me feel guilty because I am not passing it on to 100 people.
8. When my husband chugs milk and makes that gulpy sound
9. Hearing the phrase "You must have your hands full"
10. Toilet paper on the roll with the sheet going under instead of over.

There- that's a good start. Next 10 will be all about my favorite things. Now rest up and pay attention- there will be a quiz at the end :)

Happy Father's Day!

or, otherwise known as, "Another Holiday to try and stick large objects on top of Dominic". First was Mother's Day, now Father's Day.

Doesn't Ryan look innocent? So after I pulled Dominic out from under the walker, they all got dressed for pics with Daddy.

And contrary to popular belief, I have not fallen off the face of the earth :) I have been VERY busy with research. Important stuff like finding coordinating Gymboree clothes. Geesh- do you have ANY idea how hard it is to find the matching socks to some of their lines? I have ordered so much Gymboree stuff (it's almost as bad as my Pier 1 addiction) that the mail dude doesn't even put it in the box anymore. I get service to the door! I'm making that extra 2 cents per stamp pay off in my favor! Take that USPS!!!

Gonna have to move to a farm...

Blech- the kids LOVE eggs. Yuck. I, however, am not a big fan of eggs. In fact, I don't even drink milk. The whole concept of chugging back a glass of milk makes me vomit in my mouth. I was the wierd kid who ate dry cereal. Anyway...

We took Dominic to the grocery store Tuesday. He has never been in a grocey store and he was in awe- like he found the motherload of food. So in an attempt to plump up him and Aspen, I have started bulking up the calories. Carnation instant breakfast in the bottles, and a high fat content. Ryan is not included- he is on the chart. So I read about eggs and how they can help pack on the pounds in babies. Where, I have no idea- between my unstoppable addiction to buying Gymboree and selling my old maternity clothes on ebay- it all has become a blur.

So, what used to be just a bottle and oatmeal for breakfast has now turned into bottle, eggs, oatmeal, and yogurt.

There is someone in this house packing on the pounds- I have the fattest chihuahua in the Las Vegas area. 10 pounds! He was supposed to be a "miniature". As my father would say, I may have "gotten a took" on that deal.

Are YOU smarter than your iPod?

Dear loving husband bought me a new ipod for Christmas. Some 800 gazillion bit thing that could possibly organize my life. IF, I knew how to work it. I had just mastered the old one when he throws me in a shambles with the new one.

Then, just to go step further- he buys the alarm clock/docking station/bread maker/ ATM thing so I can wake to the blissful tunes of the iPod, ocean sounds / waterfall/ nature sounds or buzzer. I chose the buzzer. I imagine that if I had ever been in a boot camp environment, that the horn in the morning would be similar to the sleep wrenching "noise" that woke me up at 5:35 am this morning. One of those sitstraightupinbed kind of noises. Oh, and it projects the time ON THE CEILING so the whole room has a lovely alien blue glow that makes me feel like I am napping on the side of the freeway. Loving husband could fall asleep, upright, in the middle of a football stadium during a game. Me- if it is not pitch black, I may as well not bother attempting sleep.

So tonight, I am suffocating the alarm clock with a towel. May the strongest person win.