Chalk..it does a body good...

Ryan ate bright pink chalk at speech therapy today. He was well behaved the entire time except the last 5 minutes when I had to fish chalk particles out of his mouth while trying to keep him from biting. And it didn't help that I didn't have a sippy cup to wash his mouth out with since he slammed it in the trash can moments prior.

We are sooo getting the boot from therapy.

Small, Medium, Large

"Dominic- you cannot have my bow!"

"Well, then I will just rip it from your head"

"Mommy- does it match?"

"Here- you can have it back"

Trick or Treat- that is the question...

Dear gawd, what a decision I must make...

Do I take the kiddos trick or treating?

I mean, they will only be 17 months old. If I go door to door, the neighbors will know that the kids aren't eating the candy. I will look like a candy pimp.

(insert visual of me hiding in the closet with empty Smartie wrappers at my feet and Reese Cup remnants around my mouth)

But I have to show them off in their costumes. After all, as Dena and I discussed today, there is only a small window of opportunity to dress them in cute furry animal costumes before they want to pick out their own.

I just won't eat the candy. I will take it to work. Well, except maybe the Milky Ways...or the Almond Joys, definetely not the Almond Joys...well, better keep the Lifesavers too....ok, I promise to take the crappy peanut butter chewy candy in to work.

Last Halloween...

Are you kidding me?...

"Lesbian sues over IVF twins" - Sydney Morning Herald

I begin to step upon my soapbox...

ARE YOU FREAKIN" KIDDING ME???

Oh dear-here she goes about to spew a gasket...


"A lesbian woman felt violated and devastated when she learned she was pregnant with twins, after she had told a Canberra obstetrician she wanted only one child through IVF, a court heard yesterday.
In what is believed to be the first case of its kind in the ACT, the former Canberra woman and her female partner are suing obstetrician and gynaecologist Sydney Robert Armellin for the wrongful birth of one of their twin girls, now aged three, claiming more than $400,000 for the cost of raising her to the age 21."

Are you EFFING kidding me?

" "I remember sitting on the couch and feeling devastated, absolutely devastated," the 40-year-old mother said.
She and her partner, who were living in Watson at the time, had planned to go to England after the birth, but their plans were scrapped when they discovered they would be having twins, jeopardising their careers, relationship and health.
She suffered pre- and post-natal depression, could work only a few hours at a time because of the pain, and she and her partner needed relationship counselling for about 18 months."

What? WHAT?

Now they are trying to hide behind the argument that it was the RE's negligence at transferring 2 embryos when they only wanted ONE CHILD.

HEY DUMBASSES- what would you have done if only one was transferred and it split? Who would you sue then? Mother Nature?

This is not Vend-A-Child. There are no guarantees with IVF.

And another thing- why hide behind anonymity? I hope the judge rules that you can't. How selfish are you to put the feelings of the "unwanted" twin, the extra child that you never requested, aside? How self centered are you?

I'm sure the media coverage of this will be make a great addition to this poor child's baby book.

It's a giant conspiracy...

I am no parenting expert by far. But, on a good day, half my brain is working and common sense seems to always have my back. So how this happened I have no idea.

I think I may have screwed up the kids feet.

In my defense, it is hard to buy shoes when they can't tell you if they are too tight, pinch, etc. There were no toes hanging off the edges, and I did the little toe press thing that shoe salesmen seem to do.

Apparently I was not a shoe salesman in a previous life.

Dominic- wearing size 3- should be in a 4
Aspen- wearing size 1- should be in a 2.5
Ryan- wearing a 4- should be in a size 5.5 WIDE

I think that GEOX, Primigi and Umi have all banned together and changed sizing so that when you think that you have been smooshing your children's toes in corset like shoes, you don't even notice the $65.00 price of each pair because you are so blinded by mommy guilt.

The gig is up- us foot cramming mommies are on to the game, the hustle, the dark underbelly world of children's shoe sizing. So next time, you can totally buy my silence with a coupon.

I'm just going to start handing out pamphlets...

It's Circle of Friends time at Gymboree. And those who know me well knew I was going to be spending a ridiculous amount of money there- since I get an additional 30 % off this weekend. So after some lunch grub, Liz and I pack up the trio and head to Fashion Show mall.

I learned today that I hate Fashion Show mall.
I also learned today that you have to have an advanced degree in engineering to figure their floor layout.
I also learned today that they must hate infants, since they tuck the elevator back in the corner of some alcove between Upper level 1 and Upper level 1.5 or however those nuts have named them.

What was planned to be a quick mission of Gymboree, Janie and Jack, TCP and Coach (thrown in for good measure) took 4.5 HOURS.

Why? WHY??? WE WERE STOPPED BY EVERY FOREIGN TOURIST IN VEGAS. I do not speak Italian/Spanish/Portuguese/Korean or one language that I may guess to say was ..forget it...I'm not even sure. Therefore, I am unable to answer your questions so all I can do is smile and nod. Smile and nod, nod and smile. I have whiplash from today and my cheeks hurt. Perhaps I am just used to Americans who stop, point, ask questions, shake their head and mutter under their breath that A: I must have my hands full or B: Thank goodness it's me and not them as they walk away. But they do not touch.

Tourists touch. Ok- that may not seem fair. Perhaps the ones I ran into today are just nicer than what I am used to. BUT BACK AWAY FROM THE STROLLER. Consider us a moving zoo. Do not touch or feed the inhabitants.

I should get a sign. And a pamphlet that I can just hand out as I whiz my way though the mall.

1. Yes- they are triplets
2. Yes - 2 boys and 1 girl
3. No- they are not identical
4. Yes- they were born on the same day

What I learned on my summer vacation...

1. If mosquitoes are supposed to die 3 days after biting someone, I single-handedly wiped out at least 100 of those little effers
2. Scratching mosquito bites like your life depended on it only makes them itch more.
3. Scratched up mosquito legs are not attractive
4. I can consume a very large amount of cream of crab soup, and still have room at the end of the week for more.
5. Picking crabs is still vile and disgusting, but as long as I don't focus on the "mustard"- it's all ok
6. I have zero desire to move back to Maryland
7. Humidity sucks
8. I really miss my MD friends
9. I really miss living 10 minutes from Ikea
10. There are REALLY big crickets in MD
11. Really big crickets scare the heck out of me.
12. I have ALOT of crap at my mom's still.
13. Drew had ALOT of crap at my mom's also.
14. Dominic is scared of grass, but will eat a bug
15. Aspen has a very high pain threshold, evidenced by her ear piercing experience
16. Ryan loves to point at trees and say "Ta"
17. I must find a secret place in my house to hide my butterscotch krimpet stash
18. People will clap when a crying baby finally falls asleep on a plane.
19. You cannot sleep on the red-eye if holding an infant.
20. Humidity makes things expand - causing me to have to ship 11 boxes home....or maybe I did too much shopping :)

Oh Luuucy - we're hoooome...

I'm tired, jet lagged, and sore from sitting in a plane for waaay too many hours and running the 2 mile dash through the Phoenix airport coutesy of US Air who awarded us a flight delay which led to 20 minutes between connecting flights and some unhappy b*tard who courteously changed the gate assignment from A26 to B2.

So I here are some more pics to buy me some time until my sharp wit and sense of humor returns.

Various vacation pics...

Ryan and favorite cousin Z

Dominic

Ryan wondering where his dinner is...

Dominic trying to figure out how to jump in the BayDrew telling Ryan not to show Dominic how to jump into the Bay

Aspen Goofy girl!
Aspen loving the fact she can sit in highchairs again

Dominic

Aspen

Aspen loves grass!

Damn skeeters!...

I have 14! mosquito bites. 14! Little biting b-tards! Drew has zero, zilch, nada.

My mom lives 10 minutes from Ikea- so Drew, the trio and I went so I could have my swedish "no directions included" furniture fix. I also sent him to Best Buy tonight for a disk reader so I could get all the pics off my digital camera.

Every cookout needs a pea pod cake

Ryan and his favorite cousin Z with the cool pink hair

"What the heck is this green stuff??? GET ME OFF OF IT!!!"

"Someone just fed me cake"

Daddy's girl

We're here!!!

We made it to Baltimore! Aside from the farting Rabbi next to me, and the drunk couple with a tiny bladder next to Drew, the flight went well. The kids slept the whole time, and I didn't even have to give them Benadryl.

Now, crazy rental car bus driver is another story. He apparently was not pleased with his career choice that morning and decided to drive the giant Enterprise bus around the airport like he was training for a new career in Nascar.

So we pick up the rental car (minivan-gasp!) and pile on in. I turn on the radio on to my all time favorite station and something does not sound right- it's all Spanish.

For all my MD/DC/VA readers- what the HELL happened to WHFS 99.1???

So now I am running around trying to find a car connector for my iPod.

Drew and I have already consumed enough crab items to last the next four years, and enough Dunkin Donuts to probably turn us both into instant diabetics. Next on the list- butterscotch krimpets!